Who am I?

I try to convince the whole world I am a writer, a singer, and a painter too, but usually in vain. My, D.G. Fulford-inspired, incoherent writing here may prove why.

If you and I are alike, you would have a set of people you care for – and 54 stuffed dolls. You would have a pair of fancy paint brushes and a big dent on your car. Your roots would be from Chennai, India. You would hate sports and everything to do with sports except for Fedex and Steffi Graf (what they play would be immaterial, as you would gladly watch even a whole day’s golf if they were playing).

If you and I are alike, you would breathe music. Your favorite instrument would be the keyboard, although, if asked now, you would rather say sitar just because it sounds mystifying.

If you and I are alike, you would pick Robert Grant, played by Jason Alexander in “Dunston Checks In” as your most adored character. Your favorite movie would be “Angels in the Outfield,” although “Scent of a Woman” would come a close second. You would have had a four-year-old crush on Clark Gable after watching “Gone with the Wind” when you were seven

If you and I are alike, all your friends would be best friends. You would not understand why you should have any other kind.

If you and I are alike, you would read like a book maniac. You would have a book collection you would die for. You would have a list of books you would kill for. You would have started collecting books after reading “Life of Pi.”

If you and I are alike, your favorite drink would be spiced buttermilk and your chocolate, Toblerone. You wouldn’t care for ornaments, but you would cherish dearly a few that belonged to your mom.You would believe goodness beats all other virtues hands down. No greatness without goodness, right?

If you and I are alike, you would insist you wish to listen to the raag Sahana – played by Sashank – while you die. You wouldn’t have anything against the other instrumentalists. You would just convince yourself that Sashank does it better. You would enjoy nothing more than a day at the beach. You would like a quiet car radio but a loud home.

If you and I are alike, you would always think you forgot something back home, and you always would go back to check it. You would consider yourself intense and serious and least charming. You would rather sulk than roar and be cold than be hot. You would hate to eat alone.

If you and I are alike, your favorite author would be Jeffrey Archer and your favorite painter, Rembrandt. You would have loved your grand-dad. You would have mourned his death but you would try to emulate his living.

If you and I are alike, you would really hate video games. You would like the pieces in Chess if they are made of wood. Your favorite holiday would be Christmas, but you would like Diwali too, as a festival. You would just love your cozy winter blanket. You would say “excuse me” when you sneeze even when you’re alone. The only movies watching which you would have cried are Anjali and Forrest Gump. You would hate award shows. Falsehood would make you bellow with rage. You would have nightmares about losing your teeth. You would be very sensitive, loyal, and faithful.

If you and I are alike, you wouldn’t get on a weighing machine even if it was the last bit of dry solid left in a shark-filled sea. Every time you go to a restaurant, you would order the same item. You would think rap music is funny.

If you and I are alike, you would love looking at hibiscus hedges. If someone tries to talk to you about calculations, investments, and insurance, your eyes would roll around backward in their sockets. When you turned 23, you would have considered adopting a child. But you wouldn’t have adopted one.

If you and I are alike, you would always hope to be rescued from artificiality. You would commend trust and healthy humor. You would savor good memories and wishes. You would try as hard as you could. You would deserve to be counted on, to be there in times of need.

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34 comments

  1. Very interesting to know you:).Love the bit about going back to check and the bit on sneezing…bless you!:)

    1. ha ha 🙂 thanks Priya… so that goes on to show why we are able to empathize with each other’s posts… 🙂

  2. look up for this channel called VPRO International on Youtube. They have a documentary on Wikipedia. Somewhere in it, this guy explains about how ” I ” has become the most important word. soemwhere in your post i read about the word ” I ” too. But I must say, that you write well. 🙂

  3. precisely why no two people in the world can be alike!

    I share just one thing with you – dislike for the weighing machines – that’s given my waist size, which you will not dare to ask on a public forum!

  4. Enjoyed reading it! The first few lines brought a smile and it stuck on till the end. While we may share strong passions towards our interests, it seems there is not much common between us 😉

  5. I think I read one of your storys in readers digest. Im; dislecsic dont read much but you rite esey with fun in it all ..keep going DESTIDORTA LEN

  6. Loved your writing. Luckily landed on your page and I must say it was worth reading..
    “I try to convince the whole world I am a writer, a singer, and a painter too, but usually in vain.” I think most of the people agree to this..you have posted your paintings, lyrical scribbles..which confirms your talent 🙂

  7. If you and I are alike, you would return to read books and blogs of your fave author, again and again! If you notice, I have said, author, not just a writer. Having found you in the wide big jungle on the internet, I can comfortably say, you are author CB, I presume?

    Have a great weekend 🙂

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